I know it has been a while since my last post. I have had some things to think about .
We had a good summer with some very unexpected things happening, and some very good things
happening. I gave up on a few things this summer and one of them was me, Ive never given up on me before in my life until this summer, I am now circling back to me.
You know there comes a time in your life when you ask yourself what it is you want in your life ?
Before I became a mother ( which is the greatest gift I have ever been given) I knew what I wanted and how I was going to get it, since having my baby I have asked myself what I want and even who I am.
I have found it so hard to hear others tell me what they think of me ( all good for the most part ) but none the less hard to hear because I don't know, so how could anyone else?
Ive always admired the ones that seem to be so in touch with their feelings so creative so to speak, well I was once that way , I knew what I felt was in touch with and wore my feelings on my sleeve so to speak. There was never a question as to what I felt about some thing or what I believed in.
Over the years and all of lives experiences , and me having a goal and or a way of life in mind, I learned to suppress my feelings my creativity with every heart break or disappointment I became more in control of me until now here I am wondering who I am ? I have always been very driven, driven to do the right thing driven to get what I want,driven to keep my word. I never wanted to make the same mistakes I had seen others make!
I think I have disappointed myself over the years and I just wonder if I can be the logical girl Iam now and the creative girl I once was.( and by the want to be again) I know I want to sing with my heart and I to be treated like a queen and seen as a rare and wonderful gift!
I want passion in my life like I once knew ! I want to feel love like it's the last moment I will ever know it! I guess I have finally arrived at old .
I did say I gave up on something this summer and they have creeped back , Im not sure I will ever really give up on those things, Im pretty sure they will never be a part of my everyday life ever again , however I will always want the very best for that I wish success and happiness,and peace more than anything peace!
